Monday, April 23, 2012

Second Opinion (Classic Joke)

Second Opinion!

The doctor said, ' Joe, the good news is I can cure your headaches.
The bad news is that it will require castration

You have a very rare condition, which causes your testicles to press
on your spine and the pressure creates one hell of a headache. The
only way to relieve the pressure is to remove the testicles.'

Joe was shocked and depressed. He wondered if he had anything to live
for. He had no choice but to go under the knife. When he left the
hospital, he was without a headache for the first time in 20 years,
but he felt like he was missing an important part of himself. As he
walked down the street, he realized that he felt like a different
person. He could make a new beginning and live a new life.

[cid:1.3388491942@web192203.mail.sg3.yahoo.com]

He saw a men's clothing store and thought, 'That's what I need... A new suit...'

He entered the shop and told the salesman, 'I'd like a new suit..'

The elderly tailor eye d him briefly and said, 'Let's see... Size 44 long.'

Joe laughed, 'That's right, how did you know?'

'Been in the business 60 years!' the tailor said.

Joe tried on the suit, it fit perfectly.

As Joe admired himself in the mirror, the salesman asked, 'How about a
new shirt?'

Joe thought for a moment and then said, 'Sure.'

The salesman eyed Jo e and said, 'Let's see, 34 sleeves and 16-1/2 neck.'

Joe was surprised, 'That's right, how did you know?'

'Been in the business 60 years.'

Joe tried on the shirt and it fit perfectly.

Joe walked comfortably around the shop and the salesman asked, 'How
about some new underwear?'

Joe thought for a moment and said, 'Sure.'

The salesman said, 'Let's see... Size 36.

Joe laughed, 'Ah ha! I got you! I've worn a size 34 since I was 18 years old.'

The salesman shook his head, 'You can't wear a size 34. A size 34
would press your testicles up against the base of your spine and give
you one hell of a headache.'

New suit - $400
New shirt - $36
New underwear - $6
Second Opinion - PRICELESS

Friday, April 6, 2012

Customizing the Product as per Client's Requirements




 



 

Requirement gathering session – Day 12

 

 


Client: "Our next requirement, this is something big, you know, we need an elephant..."

 

Ram:  Mr. Richard but why don't you adjust with a buffalo, even it is big....   and black?"

 


Client: No Ramasamy, we need only elephant, let me explain our current process................." (client explains for an hour)

 

Ram: Fine Richard, i understand your requirement. But ours supports only buffalo...

 


Client: Samy..our central bank regulations needs only elephant!

 

Ram: Ok.. Let me see if i can customize"

 


Requirement taken : Bank wants a big black four legged animal, long tail, less hair. Having trunk is mandatory.

 

The same was documented, signed off and sent to offshore for development!

 

 

Offshore Development Centre, Chennai, 11.30pm

 


Design/Development – Base on requirement all features are supported in base product (as buffalo) , for trunk alone a separate customization is done.

 

 

Finally the customization is shown to client.

 

 

 

client looks ....

 

 


and faints !!

 

 



.

__,_._,___

 

 

Amazing Uses of the Word 'Fuck'

The Word Fuck
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Perhaps one of the most interesting and colorful words in the English
language today is the word "fuck". It is the one magical word which,
just by its sound, can describe pain, pleasure, love, and hate.


In language, "fuck" falls into many grammatical categories.

•It can be used as a verb, both transitive (John fucked Mary) and
intransitive (Mary was fucked by John).

•It can be an action verb (John really gives a fuck), a passive verb
(Mary really doesn't give a fuck), an adverb (Mary is fucking
interested in John), or as a noun (Mary is a terrific fuck).

•It can also be used as an adjective (Mary is fucking beautiful) or an
interjection (Fuck! I'm late for my date with Mary).

•It can even be used as a conjunction (Mary is easy, fuck she's also stupid).


As you can see, there are very few words with the overall versatility
of the word "fuck". Aside from its sexual connotations, this
incredible word can be used to describe many situations...

Greetings "How the fuck are ya?"

Fraud "I got fucked by the car dealer."

Resignation "Oh, fuck it!"

Trouble "I guess I'm fucked now."

Aggression "FUCK YOU!"

Disgust "Fuck me."

Confusion "What the fuck.......?"

Difficulty "I don't understand this fucking business!"

Despair "Fucked again..."

Pleasure "I fucking couldn't be happier."

Displeasure "What the fuck is going on here?"

Lost "Where the fuck are we."

Disbelief "UNFUCKING BELIEVABLE!"

Retaliation "Up your fucking ass!"

Denial "I didn't fucking do it."

Perplexity "I know fuck all about it."

Apathy "Who really gives a fuck, anyhow?"

Greetings "How the fuck are ya?"

Suspicion "Who the fuck are you?"

Panic "Let's get the fuck out of here."

Directions "Fuck off."

Disbelief "How the fuck did you do that?"

It can be used in an anatomical description- "He's a fucking asshole."

It can be used to tell time- "It's five fucking thirty."

It can be used in business- "How did I wind up with this fucking job?"

It can be maternal- "Mother fucker."

It can be political- "Fuck Dan Quayle!"

It has also been used by many notable people throughout history...


"What the fuck was that?"
- Mayor of Hiroshima

"Where the fuck is all this water coming from?"
- Captain of the Titanic

"That's not a real fucking gun."
- John Lennon

"Who's gonna fucking find out?"
- Richard Nixon

"Heads are going to fucking roll."
- Anne Boleyn

"Let the fucking woman drive."
- Commander of Space Shuttle

"What fucking map?"
- "Challenger," Mark Thatcher

"Any fucking idiot could understand that."
- Albert Einstein

"It does so fucking look like her!"
- Picasso

"How the fuck did you work that out?"
- Pythagoras

"You want what on the fucking ceiling?"
- Michaelangelo

"Fuck a duck."
- Walt Disney

"Why?- Because its fucking there!"
- Edmund Hilary

"I don't suppose its gonna fucking rain?"
- Joan of Arc

"Scattered fucking showers my ass."
- Noah

"I need this parade like I need a fucking hole in my head."
- John F. Kennedy

.

Wednesday, April 4, 2012

Childhood Memories...............



If you have Played this game.. You had an awesome Childhood
 

 
 
 
 
 

 
 
 
 
 
 

 
 
 
 

 
 
 

 
 
 
 
 
Something that a school kid has always Dreamt of.. :D
 
 

 
 
 
 
You must have definitely done this in your childhood :D
 
 
 
 
 
 
Pen Fighting..
 

 
 
 
 
 
Still remember these 'CANDIES'..
 
 
             
 
             
 
 
                 
 
 

 
 

 
 
 
 
 
 
That Mini Heart Attack Moment :P

 
 
 
 
 
Hey Mario..!! Remember me..??
I wasted my childhood saving your Girlfriend.. :P
 

 
 
 
 

 
 
 
 
 
 
Color man Color man What color do you want :P
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Can't Forget This moment !!!!
Childhood Hair Cutting in Sunday morning !!!