Test.... Most of you know this!!!

---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: Murugesan, SundarRajan <SundarRajan.Murugesan.ap@nielsen.com>
Date: Fri, Apr 15, 2011 at 5:17 PM
Subject: Test.... Most of you know this!!!
To:

 

 

 

There are 4 questions. Don't miss one.   1.  How do you put a giraffe into a  refrigerator?    Stop  and think about it and decide on your answer  before you scroll  down.                                  The  correct answer is: Open the refrigerator, put in  the giraffe, and close the door. This question  tests whether you tend to do simple things in an  overly complicated  way.              2  How do you put an elephant into a  refrigerator?                                  Did  you say, Open the refrigerator, put in the  elephant, and close the  refrigerator?    Wrong  Answer.    Correct Answer: Open  the refrigerator, take out the giraffe, put in  the elephant and close the door. This tests your  ability to think through the repercussions of  your previous  actions..                          3.  The Lion King is hosting an animal conference.  All the animals      Attend  .... Except one.   Which animal does not  attend?                                      Correct  Answer : The Elephant. The elephant is in the  refrigerator. You just put him in there.   This tests your memory.. Okay, even if you  did not answer the first three questions  correctly, you still have one more chance to  show your true  abilities.                4.  There is a river you must cross but it is used  by crocodiles, and   You  do not have a boat. How do you manage  it?                      Correct  Answer:? You jump into the river and swim  across. Have you not been listening? All the  crocodiles are attending the Animal Meeting.  This tests whether you learn quickly from your  mistakes.     Send  this out to frustrate all of your smart  friends..

     

 

A LITTLE MATH (read it till the end)

 

 

Mathematics

From a strictly mathematical viewpoint it goes like this:

What Makes 100%? What does it mean to give MORE than 100%? Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%? We have all been to those meetings where someone wants you to give over 100%. How about achieving 103%? What makes up 100% in life?

Here's a little mathematical formula that might help you answer these questions:

If:
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z


is represented as:
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26.

Then:

H-A-R-D-W-O-R- K
8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = 98%



and


K-N-O-W-L-E-D-G-E
11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 = 96%

But,

A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E
1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100%

And,

B-U-L-L-S-H-I-T
2+21+12+12+19+8+9+20 = 103%

AND, look how far a**  kissing will take you.

A-S- * -K-I-S-S-I-N-G
1+19+19+11+9+19+19+9+14+7 = 118%

So, one can conclude with mathematical certainty that, while Hard work and Knowledge will get you close, and Attitude will get you there, it's the Bulls** t and A**  kissing that will put you over the top
Don't you just Love it!!!  

 

 

 

 

 

Salient features of Jan Lokpal Bill

 

 

Salient features of Jan Lokpal Bill

 

 

Drafted by Justice Santosh Hegde, Prashant Bhushan and Arvind Kejriwal, this Bill has been refined on the basis of feedback received from public on website and after series of public consultations. It has also been vetted by and is supported by Shanti Bhushan, J M Lyngdoh, Kiran Bedi, Anna Hazare etc. It was sent to the PM and all CMs on 1st December. 

 

1. An institution called LOKPAL at the centre and LOKAYUKTA in each state will be set up

2. Like Supreme Court and Election Commission, they will be completely independent of the governments. No minister or bureaucrat will be able to influence their investigations.

3. Cases against corrupt people will not linger on for years anymore: Investigations in any case will have to be completed in one year. Trial should be completed in next one year so that the corrupt politician, officer or judge is sent to jail within two years.

4. The loss that a corrupt person caused to the government will be recovered at the time of conviction.

5. How will it help a common citizen: If any work of any citizen is not done in prescribed time in any government office, Lokpal will impose financial penalty on guilty officers, which will be given as compensation to the complainant.

6. So, you could approach Lokpal if your ration card or passport or voter card is not being made or if police is not registering your case or any other work is not being done in prescribed time. Lokpal will have to get it done in a month's time. You could also report any case of corruption to Lokpal like ration being siphoned off, poor quality roads been constructed or panchayat funds being siphoned off. Lokpal will have to complete its investigations in a year, trial will be over in next one year and the guilty will go to jail within two years.

7. But won't the government appoint corrupt and weak people as Lokpal members? That won't be possible because its members will be selected by judges, citizens and constitutional authorities and not by politicians, through a completely transparent and participatory process.

8. What if some officer in Lokpal becomes corrupt? The entire functioning of Lokpal/ Lokayukta will be completely transparent. Any complaint against any officer of Lokpal shall be investigated and the officer dismissed within two months.

9. What will happen to existing anti-corruption agencies? CVC, departmental vigilance and anti-corruption branch of CBI will be merged into Lokpal. Lokpal will have complete powers and machinery to independently investigate and prosecute any officer, judge or politician.

 

Before and After Japan Tsunami

 

Keep the mouse over the pictures and move the mouse from right to left..You'll see Japan before and after Tsunami…

 

 

 

http://www.abc.net.au/news/events/japan-quake-2011/beforeafter.htm

 

Fun-Learn-Share

 

Awesome one-liners ... humor  One Line Humor [1] Regular naps prevent old age, especially if you take them while driving. [2] Having one child makes you a parent; having two you are a referee. [3] Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and the other is the husband! [4] I believe we should all pay our tax with a smile. I tried - but they wanted cash. [5] A child's greatest period of growth is the month after you've purchased new school uniforms. [6] Don't feel bad. A lot of people have no talent. [7] Don't marry the person you want to live with, marry the one you cannot live without, but whatever you do, you'll regret it later. [8] You can't buy love, but you pay heavily for it. [9] Bad officials are elected by good citizens who do not vote. [10] Laziness is nothing more than the habit of resting before you get tired. [11] Marriage is give and take. You'd better give it to her or she'll take it anyway. [12] My wife and I always compromise. I admit I'm wrong and she agrees with me. [13] Those who can't laugh at themselves leave the job to others. [14] Ladies first. Pretty ladies sooner. [15] A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person. [16] You're getting old when you enjoy remembering things more than doing them. [17] It doesn't matter how often a married man changes his job, he still ends up with the same boss. [18] Real friends are the ones who survive transitions between address books. [19] Saving is the best thing. Especially when your parents have done it for you. [20] Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools talk because they have to say something [21] They call our language the mother tongue because the father seldom gets to speak! [22] Man: Is there any way for long life? Dr: Get married. Man: Will it help? Dr: No, but then the thought of long life will never come. [23]Why do couples hold hands during their wedding? It's a formality just like two boxers shaking hands before the fight begins! [24]Wife: Darling today is our anniversary, what should we do? Husband: Let us stand in silence for 2 minutes. [25]It's funny when people discuss Love Marriage vs. Arranged. It's like asking someone, if suicide is better or being murdered. [26]There is only one perfect child in the world and every mother has it. [27]There is only one perfect wife in the world and every neighbor has it!

 

Four Management Lessons

Four Management Lessons

* Lesson Number One *

A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day. A small rabbit saw the crow, and asked him, "Can I also sit like you and do nothing all day long?"

The crow answered: "Sure, why not."

So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the crow, and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.

Management Lesson: To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.


* Lesson Number Two *

A turkey was chatting with a bull.

"I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree," sighed the turkey, "but I haven't got the energy." "Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?" replied the bull. "They're packed with nutrients."

The turkey pecked at a lump of dung and found that it actually gave him enough strength to reach the first branch of the tree. The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch. Finally after a fortnight, there he was proudly perched at the top of the tree. Soon he was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot the turkey out of the tree.

Management Lesson: Bulls**t might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there.


* Lesson Number Three *

When the body was first made, all the parts wanted to be Boss. The brain said, "I should be Boss because I control the whole body's responses and functions."

The feet said, "We should be Boss as we carry the brain about and get him to where he wants to go." The hands said, "We should be the Boss because we do all the work and earn all the money." And so it went on and on with the heart, the lungs and the eyes until finally the a**hole spoke up.

All the parts laughed at the idea of the a**hole being the Boss. So the a**hole went on strike, blocked itself up and refused to work. Within a short time the eyes became crossed, the hands clenched, the feet twitched, the heart and lungs began to panic and the brain fevered. Eventually they all decided that the a**hole should be the Boss, so the motion was passed.

All the other parts did all the work while the Boss just sat and passed out the s*it!

Management Lesson: You don't need brains to be Boss, any a**hole will do!


* Lesson Number Four *

A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold; the bird froze and fell to the ground in a large field. While it was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on it. As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, it began to realize how warm it was. The dung was actually thawing him out!

He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy. A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate. Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him!

Management Lessons Summary:

1. Not everyone who drops s**t on you is your enemy.
2. Not everyone who gets you out of s**t is your friend.
3. When you're in deep shit, keep your mouth shut!

(Share It With Your Friends ) Don't break the elastic

Don't break the elastic

 

 

In April, Maya Angelou was interviewed by Oprah on her 70+ birthday.
Oprah asked her what she thought of growing older.
And there on television, she said it was 'exciting.'

Maya Angelou said this:
'I've learned that no matter what happens or how bad it seems today, life does go on and it will be better tomorrow.'
'I've learned that you can tell a lot about a person by the way he/she handles these three things: a rainy day, lost luggage and tangled Christmas tree lights.'

'I've learned that regardless of your relationship with your parents, you'll miss them when they're gone from your life.'

'I've learned that making a 'living' is not the same thing as 'making a life.'
'I've learned that life sometimes gives you a second chance.'
'I've learned that you shouldn't go through life with a catcher's mitt on both hands. You need to be able to throw some things back.'

'I've learned that whenever I decide something with an open heart, I usually make the right decision.'
'I've learned that even when I have pains, I don't have to be one.'
'I've learned that every day you should reach out and touch someone. People love a warm hug or just a friendly pat on the back.'

'I've learned that I still have a lot to learn.'
'I've learned that people will forget what you said; people will forget what you did; but people will never forget how you made them feel.'